I’m mulling over a rather weighty intellectual conundrum at the moment.
Jason and the Argonauts or Clash of the Titans?
Both are freaking ridiculously awesome, but which is better?
Like some loose change clinking around the washing machine that is my mind, this question has been driving me to distraction for several weeks now.
The former was a 1960s masterpiece featuring the vanguard stop motion work of Ray Harryhausen. The latter, filmed 20 years later and also featuring the (now not so) vanguard stop motion work of Ray Harryhausen, was equally brilliant.
Let’s compare and contrast the finer elements of each film, starting with:
Clash of the Titans
Bubo.
Sure, Bubo is just a bumbling R2-D2 knockoff…but check out the bling!
The kraken.
Greek mythology. More than just a day at the beach.
Calibos.
Calibos doesn’t give a damn about you or your heroic quest.
Charon.
Ladies, Charon would like you to know that he totally owns a boat.
Medusa's digs.
Medusa.
There’s no way around it — Medusa is a flaming bitch. She’d just as soon turn you into to stone as look at you, but she’s vaguely interested in your potential as a decorative doorstop.
Now, on to:
Jason and the Argonauts
The harpies.
These crazy ladies mean serious business. They will steal your cake and eat it too.
Hera masthead.
Hera talks to Jason through the masthead of his ship, the Argo. Creepy.
The hydra.
Six heads. Zero tolerance for bullshit.
The skeleton warriors.
Harryhausen filmed the skeleton scene in six months — amazingly, the same amount of time young children are compelled to sleep in their parents’ beds after viewing it.
Talos.
Oh my god oh my god oh my god. I’ve pretty much saved the best for last here. I don’t care how blasé you are about large statues of mythological beings, watch this scene and you’ll never get within 5 feet of one again. If you happen to work for the British Museum, you’re basically screwed.
There you have it. As far as I’m concerned, the most realistic CGI can never rival the creepiness of Harryhausen’s stop motion creations. Their otherworldly clunkiness is almost perverse — today’s computer-generated ghouls pale by comparison. After all this I’m still hard-pressed to pick a favourite…though Talos is pretty close to the top of my list. But that’s okay, I’ll live with the indecision and console myself with a bit of fantasy. A fantasy about all of us someday living together in a Harryhausenian paradise.
londown 